Dealing with adult kids and divorce
I have two kids- 22 & 19. My husband and I are separated since June and working on getting divorced due to the fact that my WH has been in a relationship with another woman for two years. I am still having an extremely hard time accepting this new reality after 27 years of marriage. For my emotional sanity, I am trying to go as little as possible with him, but we still need communication for some financial issues and for our children matters. However my main reason for this post is that it is so hard for me to accept that my kids talk and spend time with my WH/their dad after he was so mean and disrespectful to me. I am ashamed to even say that because he is their dad however, their dad betrayed and hurt their mom in the worst way. My kids know I don’t want to know what he is doing or anything about his life so that when they spend time with him or text him, I feel like there is a wall between me and the kids. We have always had good relationships. I feel like my kids are not supporting me and in a way, betraying me. After being such a close family, the four of us -for 27 years - and then this happening it is so different and feels horrible. It’s like there are more secrets and secrets are bad!! WH was keeping secrets from me. I don’t want this from my kids. I don’t know the best way to deal with this. Another horrible thing that comes from my a&$hole husband’s affair…
8 comments posted: Sunday, August 31st, 2025
Stuck!
Does anyone else get stuck in negative thoughts about their WH and AP? I have some good days where I feel positive and like I can move forward, to be excited for my new future. (D Day was June 6.) But then I have other days where I can’t stop thinking about how he got out of bed with me, got up early to "go to a meeting" but called his AP instead and talked on the phone with her for half an hour (I know this via phone records). Also He called he AP first (before me) after he was in a bad car accident. When I found out about his affair and confronted him, he later said to me that his AP "was devastated"!!! Are you kidding me? Like a give a flying f$&@ how SHE feels!! No remorse from H. Ouch. When did this woman come between the bond that my husband and I had?! The betrayal is painful. Crushing. Btw he is not living with me now and we are getting a divorce.
10 comments posted: Friday, August 29th, 2025
Overthinking why husband doesn’t love me anymore
So yes, I’m overthinking. It’s hard not to do when your husband of 27 years leaves you for another woman after having a two year affair with her. I told him to not come home and we will be divorcing- I got my lawyer. I busted him in early June after I was suspicious. It’s like he was living two separate lives however after the affair was out in the open he showed no remorse. We had a great marriage for many years and two beautiful young adult kids (which were shocked by all this as well). He’s done with me and it hurts. The other woman is 12 years younger, divorced and has a young child- he met her at the gym. Obviously she made him feel special and stroked his ego. With me comes responsibility. And not to brag but I am a 52 year old fit, attractive woman. However the thing I’m overthinking is one of the reasons he mentioned he wasn’t happy in our marriage- because of my illness. I have an autoimmune disease that flares at times which causes extreme fatigue and when that happens I need more help around the house and it effected my ability to go on vacations at times. I mean our vows said in sickness and in health. How selfish of him. It’s not like I was holding him back from things at all. I keep thinking how horrible it is of him to make my occasional poor health a reason (one of the reasons) for leaving me, like I wasn’t good enough for him. I don’t want to have an illness- it doesn’t feel good, it sucks- and then he makes me feel worse about it because he’s selfish! But this overthinking is making me feel worse about being sick and about being able to "keep up". I hate that I’m letting him make me feel this way, but it’s hard not to overthink when I’ve lost my husband to another woman, a younger woman. I’m still trying to process this entire situation because it’s like the rug was pulled out from under me. This was unexpected. We were just reaching the point when the kids are out of the house and we could enjoy more time together. Now my life has been flipped upside down! It’s scary and lonely and I have many worries for my future now. It really feels horrible when you learn your husband is not attracted to you and doesn’t love you anymore. That’s what I’m struggling with…
10 comments posted: Wednesday, August 27th, 2025
Sad he doesn’t love me anymore
I found out my husband of 27 yrs has been having an affair and we are getting divorced. He has no remorse and wants out. It’s crushing for me. I’m having such a hard time accepting that he wants the OW and doesn’t care about or love me anymore. We were college sweethearts, best friends, had a beautiful life. This two year affair was kept secret from me, he was living two lives and when I found out it was like getting the rug tipped out from under my feet. The lies he told and how he betrayed me can never be forgotten, but I am so sad for the loss of the man I knew when he was faithful and we’re were happy.
14 comments posted: Monday, August 11th, 2025
Rumination
How do I stop ruminating about my husband and his AP? We are separated and getting a divorce but I’m devastated about his affair after 27 years of marriage. I don’t want them to be happy together, it hurts so much.
11 comments posted: Saturday, August 9th, 2025
