SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Thank you for your reply, everything everyone is sayings a lot of sense and is all very true, I am worried about me too my health has deteriorated dramatically when he is around me he just goes on and on about how he will change and show us all the best person he can be and will change for us even though I have told him that I cannot forgive him he literally will not take no for an answer and keeps talking about the future, it’s really so draining

So stop allowing it. Tell him you do not want to talk about anything with him,other than kids and finances. Tell him you need space. And,from that point on,anytime he talks about anything else, get up and leave the room. Hang up the phone. Don't respond to messages.

Read the 180 and put it into play.

Where do I find this please

I hate to sound like I’m a mean person but after Dday 2 of affair 2 I snapped.

I had so much anger I couldn’t speak. I would say I would get an award for the show I put in in front of my kids to appear that "all is fine".

Then we had a devastating death in the family. It shook me. And I decided from here in it me first.

I stopped listening to his crap b/c I planned to D. I was until after the Christmas holidays to meet with the mediator.

I didn’t talk to him about "us". No point.

I did not engage unless the kids were around. And then it was an act.

Stop letting him go on and on. You know what fillibuster is. He’s good at it. He should be showing you ACTIONS and steps that he is taking to undo the trauma you have suffered.

But he’s not. He’s hoping to lovebomb you.

And that is just another form of mental torture.

Don’t allow it. Become a mean girl and don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself. Best move I made for myself.

Stacey88:

You can read up on the 180 in the healing library. Look in the betrayed spouse FAQ as a start.

He is attending SA meetings and trying to prove himself to me but I don’t think it will ever be enough madness how he can stop all of a sudden now but couldn’t stop

Because he's not an SA. That's a bullshit excuse cheaters use.

he keeps saying to me that he needed to be caught and that it’s a good thing? But it doesn’t feel like a good thing to me, he should of realised his own actions were wrong and confessed if he has any conscience, I’m Left thinking if I had never caught him out this would still be happening behind my back and it’s so damaging. When I did find him out he lied through his teeth and made me out to be a complete nutcase for even suggesting it.

My WH said the same shit. He actually said he was happier than he'd been in a long time after DDay. Well isn't that just peachy-keen for you!! Meanwhile I'm in a puddle on the bathroom floor keening like a dying wart hog. Glad it's all sunshine and happiness for you, fuckwit!

And yes, he absolutely would have continued fucking strange until he was caught. He's not sorry he hurt you, he's sorry he got caught.

he keeps saying to me that he needed to be caught and that it’s a good thing?

I don't know why they say this. My xWS said this when MOW contacted me to tell me they had taken their affair underground for 2 more years He also told me he felt "forced" to continue the A otherwise MOW was going to tell me The gall of some of these WS's never cease to amaze me.